This time is about some of my experiences to be a ‘victim’ in some circumstances…It seems to people might see me as an easy object to be either joked or intimidated, and till the some extend to be a ‘victim’ of ‘weird people’ in public area, even a victim of crime…and this one is happened not long ago, the victim of ‘heart-hurting-crime-called-hit-and-run’ hahahahahaha… the later is just half joking, the other half is might be true…

Yup…in every circumstances I am indeed an easy object to be joked and intimidated,,even for someone who is younger than me,,,I am still an easy object to be joked…I am not complaining about this,,,but, It seems to every where, even at the very new place where most people do not know who truly I am, what I used to be like and what I was…People still found me as an easy object to be joked…seems to that words “easy object for jokes” is written in my face…to be honest, I don’t mind at all…as long it never crosses my lines and some principles thing I hold to,,,well..smiling and laughing are still the least thing I can do, aren’t I?

Then..for the victim of crime,,,hmm….I was robbed twice when I was riding my motor cycles. And both of them ended with accident, well…practically one of them was not a direct accident but the consequences of the hot-blood flowing in my mom’s vein,,,

Firstly, I was not the one who rode the motor cycles, I was sitting in the back of my mom,,,and suddenly a motor cycles was getting close and the rider who sat at the passenger seat took my bag,,,after that, my mom pulled the gas and speeded up, trying to chase the robbers…see!!! How cool my mom was back then…both of us scream out loud with all of our energy “Jambret!!! Jambret!!! Jambret!!!” (means robber in English) She even trespassed the traffic light,,,yes, I have a rocking mom….hahahaha….but, well….no matter how cool and rocking she is,,,my mom isn’t Rossi nor Lorenzo,,,She lost control of the cycles when trying to turn right, then we just hit the pedestrian block,,very uncool,,Just minor bruises. No serious injury. Still we were taken to the nearest hospital. and this story became a hot-story for some of my family’s friends since we were going to the church for Easter Service when the incident happened.

Secondly, after graduating from my university in Indonesia, I got an opportunity for continuing my study with scholarship at Japan..exactly where I am right now..I took some Japanese lesson before got here,,,and there was a party after the level-up exam with a Japanese teacher,,the party ended at around 11 p.m. then I rode my motor cycles alone directly to home,,,I rode it pretty fast since I wanted to reach home ASAP,,,then again a motor cycles got close to mine and again the one seating at passenger seat pulled my bag that was placed under the space between my groins,,,I lost my balanced and I kissed the street with the speed around 50 km/h …have you ever kissed the street with such speed?? well…that was hurt and bloody…I did not lost my bag since it hooked tightly,,,but I lost my glasses and one of my tooth (almost two of them),,,and might be some of my weight since I ate very little during the healing period…It hurt so much when I tried to insert anything into my mouth,,,

‘victim’ of ‘weird people’ in public area…well…this one happened quite several times…

Firstly, I was waiting my friends around 10 p.m. at Shinjuku area, ready for ski trip,,,wandering around there since I couldn’t find any good place to wait,,,then, a homeless guy just followed me and yelled at me then asked about some convenient store in Japanese that I replied ” Sumimasen, nihon go ga wakarimasen” (I don’t understand Japanese) but, still an awful experience for me that awful enough to make cry,,I definitely won’t ever wait around Shinjuku area at night alone,,,never ever!

Secondly, when I was waiting my train at station for some trip bringing my luggage. An Arabic or Indian guy asked direction to me in English and I kindly answered him…and he just introduced himself which was I don’t even want to know, why he was there, what he did…and asked mine too, my name, my nationality, why I am here, etc etc etc…that’s my weakness,,,my only reaction to this kind of thing is usually to answer all the question honestly without any way to dodge them at all…including my phone number too,,,I was not willing to give him my number but I just could not find any way to not give him,,,I was worried he would call me,,,and yes he did,,,but I never picked up the call,,,never ever! deleted his voice messages and gave him “Jangan diangkat!!!!!!” (never pick up) contact name,,,

Thirdly, this one happened just hours ago. I was walking at Shibuya station to change the train line from Hanzomon line to Toyoko line,,,because I was absent minded that time I took wrong exit at Hanzomon line crossing gate. So, I ended up need to circling around through JR Yamanote crossing gate. Suddenly, an around middle age guy just stood  before my way and asked me something but I am not sure since I was listening some music through my iphone then I said “huh” with a face coding I could not hear you well then he said ”are you speaking English?” and I answered yes with confusing face,,the he asked me again “where are you going?” a paused. I was thinking my answered. then I replied “why?” then he said something I am not sure about, Shibuya incredibly crowded, I think I said home to him. and he asked again something in Japanese and I ‘huh’ ing him again,,,he said “do you know where to go?” “yes of course I know” replied I and I walked away,,,and he just followed my step and asked again “sanbyaku en” (300 yen) he asked me 300 yen in Japanese and said “help me” the first thing crossed my mind was train ticket and he might be need the money for the train ticket, some how he lost or run out his money,,,then since it just 300 yen and honestly I was annoyed and scared I just gave him,,,I just want to get him away from me,,,then I walked away,,,unexpectedly, someone saw that moment,,,a grand father age man..he followed me, seriously how many times I needed to be followed that time, and asked me whether I know that guy and why I gave him money,,,,I told him I didn’t know the guy and he just asked me to help him and give him 300 yen,,,I said I thought he might be need a help and I was fine with that,,,he said again that I didn’t need (nor shouldn’t) to give him the money  because some people might be live like that he said ‘gypsy style’ and I said again that I was completely fine and didn’t mind it,,,and thank you anyway to warn me,,,then I said thank you again…and climbed the stairs to Toyoko line crossing gate,,,a rare experience…

For the victim of ‘heart-hurting-crime-called-hit-and-run…hmmm…just forget about,,,just half joking,,,,

See,,,this how I said I might be an easy ‘victim’ for jokes, intimidation, weird people, and even crime…including heart-hurting-crime-called-hit-and-run….hahahahaha,,,,

*what I am writing now,,,actually I can not sort my idea in the right order now,,,I am sure. I thought about some idea to write here last night but like the usual me usually do, I forget some of them after got enough sleep*

Okay,,,this is totally random *yeah…like always*

I was thinking something about being mature and responsible. A friend posted at her/his tweet something sounds like “A mature person is not only responsible for his/her job, family, and religion (or something else) but also responsible for others heart (or feeling)”

And I remember I read an article about some reasons to travel while you are young here’s the link

The author, Jeff Goins, wrote

“Yeah, but…”

Never were more fatal words spoken.

…..

It allows us to be cowards, while sounding noble.

Hmmm…I experienced some kind of similar thing like this. Well…noted similar (or might be not related at all). That sentence “Yeah…but….” I got those two words in different form but I think it shows same feeling or same reason or same background or same purpose. To allow the speaker to be cowards, while sounding noble.

Have you ever heard about ‘bro-sis’ relationship between two people who act like a couple? That kind of relationship kind of popular some time in Indonesia. Yup…two people said (or might be lied) to each other and their friends or outsider that they’re not a couple, they’re having bro-sis relationship, but it is clearly seen from others’ point of view that there’s something more than that even they are more than what they’re saying. When someone asks to them, what is your relationship with him/her, they will answer “Well…he/she is like a sister/brother to me.” (though it’s completely shown that they’re not act like one). Cute, isn’t it? I think so too……When you are a junior high school student.

But, seeing those kind of acts in your 20s is completely unthinkable. I am not saying that such ‘bro-sis’ relationship couldn’t be exist in human relationship. To be honest I have one or two boy friends (friends who are boys) that are so close to me like a brother and we act like one, like a sister and brother. In every human relationship, there are such a certain invisible lines border each of them. And you, the one that involved into them knows better how to define them. You could say you’re not while you know exactly you are. You might lie to others, but lie to yourself is the lamest thing you shouldn’t do.

No doubt. You should be kind, nice and friendly with others. But, we, people, even the most clueless or stupid one, are not a complete idiot who can not use their heart. We know what flirt is and what hitting to somebody is. As for me, I always try my best to smile, be nice, and friendly to all people but, I know exactly the border is. When things are not in the place they should be, I draw a line. When it’s not working, I draw bolder line. Even if I need to be cold-hearted and unfriendly to draw the line, I will do it. Because I know exactly what hope can do, it hurts more as it grows. I want to be responsible to people’s heart. If my kindness mislead people to another thing I don’t expect. I rather to be clear. Yes is always to be a yes and no is a no. Not “Yeah….but….” Even if I need to lose them as a friend, that the risk I will surely take.

I don’t want to hide behind either the words “she/he is like a bro/sis for me” or “you are my best friend” while I am cowardly playing with someone’s heart. There are no such complicated status in man and woman relationship. They are clearly friend, lover or nothing. When you’re telling people or your self other these three things, you’re being cowards while sounding noble.

*I am not sure whether what I wrote is understandable enough or whether I got my idea right or not. Once again it’s just another random thing.*

On the first day of the year, I went to the church and had Sunday service. Apparently, I was serving as a singer at that service. Not to mention ALONE for the first time. Yep…and as usual, I did a looooot of mistakes. BTW, there’s no way I will serve as a singer alone any more. No way. No in hundreds years. I’d had a text from my friends, well not exactly a friends, what can I call her,,,a sister? a counsellor? She invited us, me and others youth group in the church to her house. After got stuck in the train because of some technical problem, finally we, me and some of my friends, got into her house. She’s a great married woman with two supeeeeer cute children. Rather than a friends or counsellor, she’s more like a sister for me, for us too, I suppose. Because it was already passed lunch time, well almost tea time, we went straight away to eat when we finally arrived at her house. I was having a reaaaaaally great time there. I laughed a lot. I ate a lot (of oranges). And I learned a lot. I am really grateful that I have such those great friends like them. Practically, we just did really common things, except of course having a great supper. We watched the our church’s Christmas video, talked about it, laughed about it, joked about it, since there’s so many funny part in it. Then, we chatted, joked around, played card (I miss this so muuuuuuuch) and made a little yet quite unique Birthday’s celebration of the owner of the house. We watched the first series of Narnia, The lion, The witch and wardrobe, then went home happily with smile on our face and full stomach.

I am really grateful that I have great friends here too, in the church, a fellowship with fellow believers. I am indeed blessed. I am grateful that He always has His way to thrilled me with all His surprise that I am never ever expected. For every little joyful things He gave and enjoyed, I am never been more thankful. I have such a great GOD. Great Your Name. Let my soul always worship You, only You alone. Lord, I am ready for every moment, every event You have prepared for me this year. Give me strength through this new year You gave to me. Let me always have a grateful and humble heart in every moment at this new year and please take control of my life. Amen.

After all…

I wish you a great new year….with all love in my heart,,,,

After the awful presentation, I was ready for Christmas (and all the preparation). I didn’t know how but I ended up having quite a lot of things to do. Since November, I had been picked to help Sunday School Student doing their performance and I was happy to help. But, It seems to be I was also picked to serve as a singer at the Christmas service. Then, like two weeks before Christmas, one of my friend asked me to help him making schedule for youth choir and at the same time, one of my senior asked me to lead carolling and the next week, my other friend asked me to be narrator in Christmas celebration (which in the end I did not need to do). An the craziest thing was, how could I said yes to all of them?! well not all of them I said no for two request but in the end (after negotiating) I said fine. I thought if that’s the least thing I can help them, well…I am happy to help. But, It seems I was not helping them at all but troubling them (and others) with the tight and overlapping schedule I got. In the end, I did trouble some of them because I can not handle one or two of my works. Yeah…I thought I was helping them yet I troubled them.

I was leading carolling with a worry feeling that I couldn’t do it well. Beside, I kind of mad with a certain person. It was totally on me. My fault. I feel sorry for being persistent and could not control myself. There is no excuse for that. I was not humble and I do not have a heart that is facing to Him alone. Another lesson for me. I don’t know why I still lead the carolling back then. But, me is not matter, the glory of His name is. I did reconciled with that person – how can’t I. This experience really worried me for the next day and the next two days which was Christmas.

Could I do well? Was I appropriate to serve Him? Could I face this person with smile and ordinary me? Should I step back? many things I worried about. I had prayed and asked Him to give me strength and more humble heart. I told Him that me is not matter and I just want to face my heart to You alone.

During the Christmas carolling, people really helped me to manage things. I am grateful. Indeed, this sloppy me did many mistakes and did not know how to manage things. I am grateful for this fellowship. I am grateful the fellow believers understand me though I did a lot of mistakes.

At the Christmas Service, yep…of course me,,,the super sloppy me,,,also did hundreds mistakes. Another lesson for me that I should spare more time for practicing.  This brain of mine is really unreliable, it has really short memory that I tend to easily forget things especially after I get to sleep. I am indeed a bit stupid.

He, the one who always knows me well, never let me down. Though I was guilty and worry about all my mistakes, He knows how to comfort me. When I was preparing youth choir performance, one of my Sunday School Students said, “Nee, sensei. Ganbatte!” (how can I translate it in English ” Hey, teacher. Good luck/fighting/put your hard work/do your best”) I was so touched that time yet grateful. It was like receiving word directly from Him. Indeed, children really unconsciously make their surrounding beautiful, joyful, and bright. Well, it might be a really usual experience for you. But, for me it is a really heart-warming experience. You know, though I have been here for more than a year, my Japanese is unbelievably suck. When preparing Sunday School students for their performance, communicating with them is really difficult for me. I use many body language rather than Japanese. I smile, nod,  and only use really short sentence – even a word to communicate with them. For me, got unpredictable response like “Daijobu!” or  ”Ganbatte!” from them is somehow like a heart-warmer for me. I am really grateful. Nothing I can say but grateful for every little joyful thing and every lesson He gave me.

Thank you Lord that by Your strength I got through all of these. Thank you that even I was worry to experience the last year’s hidden-empty-lonely-and-sad Christmas, as I count every joyful things you gave me, I am grateful and indeed blessed. I am full because of You.

“…sometimes fake is beautiful…”

the golden-joy, red-happiness and green-life

…my second Christmas here, without my family around…but I am delighted coz family is not about presence but heart…

"Shine the little dim-light of mine, even it's about to go off..."

Firstly, no doubt the most important things you need to prepare (or do) to move out is a new place you can move in. In my case I moved out from my dormitory in Odaiba and found a place in TIT’s Ookayama Campus nearby. The rent is considerably cheap.To find new apartments or rooms for moving in you can find them either on-line or coming directly to the estate agent. Me, myself found it firstly on-line then I came to the agent ask whether I can rent the room or not. Here in Japan, some owners have ‘special’ requirement for the person who will rent their room or apartment. As for foreigner like me, some of them require a guarantor or Japanese Skills or any other things they think necessary. Here some website reference to find apartment for you

www.athome.co.jp

www.able.co.jp

www.gaijinpot.com

Secondly, before moving into the new place off course you need to move out first from your former place. It usually takes a month from the day you inform your former landlord (or dormitory) to the day you move out. It may requires several procedures too but the simple one, filling some documents, getting some sign or stamp from your university, deciding room inspection day, changing your postal address at post office, and else.

Thirdly, after you found suitable room (or apartment) based on you expectation and taste, you can get unwritten agreement with the agent that you want to rent the room (or apartment) and decide the move in day. Then, depressing and stressful days is just coming…hahahahaha….Basically, you just need to get all the documents the estate agent require, guarantee certificate, insurance, or else.  For guarantor, the university where you are attending usually gives some policy or help that it could be your guarantor. In case of mine, TIT provides this facility for foreign student, you just need to go to Student Support Division and tell them that you would like to move into new place and need guarantee, they will give you some document. Also, you may need the copy of your contract from the estate agent. For insurance, you can also get it together with the guarantee certificate from your university. After completing all documents the agent require, you can sign a contract. Then, they will give you the key on the moving in day.

Then on the moving day, you can use some moving service such as akabou, or you can also rent some rental car to carry all of your stuff or you can have them send or you can ask some of your friends to carry them in the train. If you want to use akabou service it cost around 11,500 yen, you can find the information on-line or from COOP (TIT’s COOP). I did not use akabou service but I used moving this moving service, transporter tokyo, since they provide in English service. In case you want to have them send, you can call or send the nearest post office you live.

As you moved to the new place you may need some furniture or appliance to fill your new home. You can find and buy them in some home centre nearby or on-line via website or gaijinpot.com.

The last thing left to do is reporting yourself to the city ward office you moved to. It is really simple you just need to inform them your new address. You may also need to renew or reissue your new health insurance, you can have it done together with the moving notification in the city ward office. You just need to simply fill some others forms. Do not forget to inform your university your new address and also the embassy (though I know I need to inform the embassy my new address, to be honest I may postpone it later when I have quite much free time).

Enjoy all the moving procedures and enjoy your new home…