Just Some Story of Mine

Buat 13705013

Let me first share a story

When I was in my last grade in high school, I’d lost my friend’s trust. He was really angry at me. And when he told me that he was disappointed to me, my heart was really broken. I was really confused, sad and broken because I didn’t even know what I’d been doing wrong…he didn’t even tell me why he said that he lost his trust to me and I didn’t that I’d done something wrong… but, because I thought he’s my friend and for me friends are precious treasure an he’s my precious friend I asked forgiveness from him. And you know even until now I still don’t know what I was doing wrong…

I asked his forgiveness for many times (I don’t think I can count it…) and you know, he even did a horrible things to me…he avoided me…he acted that I was invisible…he just shake his hand like something was disturbing him when I tried to ask him what I’d been doing wrong even when I asked him forgiveness…I’d tried so hard…because I thought he’s my friend and I didn’t want to loose him…

When I thought he’d already forgiven me, he told that ‘Yori is a kind person that can’t be trusted’ in front of all my friends, even in front of Win…that time I just wanted to shout at him and cry out ‘how can you do all this things to me? How come? How can you judge me like that? I don’t even know what I was doing wrong to you?’

Then, I asked him forgiveness after many times before, he didn’t say that he’d forgive me but at least he didn’t ignore me…

That time he really did something horrible to me…and in my heart I didn’t deserve it…

Now, I don’t know whether he’s already forgive me or not, but I just believe that he already forgive me…until now, I’m trying to gain his trust to me…

And I learn something from that incident…and from the first time I feel surprise for the fact that I did all that things, the fact that I really my value for friendship is that much…

This part is my feeling towards you

I lost something…I do…

I regret…I do…I was hurt…I do…

I’ve just really known what she thinks…or maybe what she pretends…

I’m not your lost friend…

I’m just your fool friend that you called by ‘mba jojo’

I’m just your stupid friend that you’ve been talked behind my back…

I’m just someone that you’d pretend as a friend but you didn’t even feel in your heart that I was your friend…

I’m just someone that you’d been laughing at behind my back…

I’m just someone that you think didn’t deserve to get your apologetic feeling and apologize except from SMS or instant message…

I’m just someone that you feel not as important as your own pride that made you not even apologize to me directly…

I’m just someone for playing around and fooling around…

I didn’t even talk about this to anybody because I thought some time you’ll have any courage to break your pride and apologize then explain something to me…(even the fact that I’d already forgive you very long time ago, since you sent me the SMS) and I don’t want to do horrible things that you don’t deserve (just like what I’d felt before), I don’t need take somebody to my side against you…

I was waiting for you…because you were my friend so I thought I’ll let you finished your part…(to ask forgiveness to me and give explanation, because you owe me that)

I don’t need you say ‘ya…ga mungkinlah, yor gw nyamain lo ama mereka berdua…’ because I did saw the evidence that you were talking behind my back and called me with something for the shake making a fool at me…(and you still did that-talking behind my back- even after the incident)

What I need is explanation why you called me that and good intention to apologize directly…

I know now…what you are thinking about me…

The more time passed, I do understand that you just always think something bad about me…

Before, when we had something that we dislike from each other we just kept it silent…and when one of us done something wrong we just pretend it didn’t happen and ignoring it without any regrets, apologizing and forgiveness…and I thought it was bad…that’s not a good tie in friendship… but, I ignored it because no one had crossed each other line…you already crossed my line, and in my thought the one who crossed people line have to ask for forgiveness directly to show their regret feeling…

I’ll ask you…how’d you feel if someone that you know that someone you’d believed talking behind your back and even she/he called you with something that you knew it was for making fool toward you?

The one that made me really disappointed is while I try to think something to push you and make you realize what I feel, and try to express my feeling, and trying not hurting you, you just think this to me buat my “lost friend”,,, thanks atas pertemanan selama ini,,,yang gw minta,,STOP,,semua prasaan sakit ati yang ada,,karna gw sudah memaafkan,,dan trima kasih atas ilmu “memaafkan” yang pernah lo sebut…”TUHAN aja mo maafin,,masa kita nggak??” and gila maaf ( suka meminta maaf dan terima maaf,red.)’ (I read it in your blog) and you too busy to make people stand on your side, again talking about me behind my back…

Even I’m the one who have to make a move to fix the things…

I was keeping my hope before… But, I have time limit…and, I’ve done with that…

I regret that I lost my precious treasure….but, I feel grateful that I learnt how the feeling is become pretending as a friend is like…

I did forgive you…

So, let’s finished here…

And don’t pretend me as your friend again coz I don’t need that…

Let’s say we’re 2 people that known each other since we’re in the same study program by destiny…

One response

  1. wow… brave post =d>

    (itu imotikon di yahoo, kalo mau tau😛 )

    November 3, 2008 at 3:20 am

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