Just Some Story of Mine

Two Weeks After

Two weeks after…

Keeps wondering why I am here…

Somehow, lost my track…and being really lonely,,,the way I usually use to be happy is not working anymore…the way I usually do to forget all the burden in my heart is not useful anymore,,,I shouldn’t take a period of holiday so that all that thought can be forgotten…

The feeling of being stabbed right in my chest is occasionally come…sometimes I feel I hardly breath,,,and sometimes It feels like someone hit me right in my head (especially now,,why both of my stomach and head is acting like this?),,,like something need to explode,,,

Two weeks after,,,

It seems like nothing better happened,,,that ‘L’ feeling is getting worse but the mask is well used,,,and that liquid keeps falling…

and that big question is coming again and again…why I am here?why in the first place HE let me be here?

because all the dream I ever dream is not my dream anymore..after all the things happened back then, it was already falling apart..why cant I be there?fixing the things?supporting someone I love the most?why I should be here?being away, being nowhere, not belongs to anybody and being nobody….

I had already gave the things up back then,weeks before I was going to depart,,,I went with all that worry feeling and hoped that somehow things would get better and HE would fix all the things,,,

seems to be I still need long time for hoping and patience to wait…

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