Just Some Story of Mine

Another Random Thought 2

These are only my opinion so they’re not accurate and you can’t generalize them…

Suddenly, I had been thinking about some unimportant things,,this kind of thing is usually come when I am doing my assignment,,I am occasionally distracted by many things while working especially when the deadline is still far..but, when the deadline is near,,just try to distract me..you will get a complete punch, kick, or something being thrown on your face..I feel like I can even kill a person if somebody disturb me when I was working to catch the deadline…

Back to the unimportant things
I’d been thinking during that period of time…that unimportant things are the way I see men and women relationship,, I have strong believe about the fact that None of your friends can be a lover…I do believe that there is a lover that can be both your lover and your friend but a friend that can be a lover too,,,there is no way it can be happened,,It’s just not occur in my life and my
dictionary of life…life I mentioned here means my love life…hahahahaha

I do believe that man and woman could be just friend..If from the beginning both of them is really want to be friend… Personally, when I knew some guys I categorized them just like I categorized some of my girl friends..

They are some of them
whom you can only need to know their name and some useful identity
so that when you need them you can call them but it doesn’t mean I
don’t need to keep a good relation with them,,I do..I keep a good
relation with them but it’s just like that..just some ordinary
things…

They are some of them that can be your buddy. They are
fun and I always enjoy my time with them specifically I only share
happy time with them…They can only see the happy me or sometimes
the other part of me which is possibly shown in the surface…

They are some of them that can be your friend. We have some similarity,
sometimes I share something to them, sometimes I even share some
emotion that I felt in some certain condition. Sometimes I ask
their opinion about things…

They are some of them that can be
your close and even your best friend. These people are whom I
showed my true feeling and the place where I find first when I get
trouble. Most of them had ever known the worst part of me and the
worst condition I had ever gotten through.Moreover, I can cry in
front of them..Not because I was moved by something but because of
the feeling that overflowed in my heart…I can even explode in
front of them…These people is never gonna be my lover..coz, I am
too afraid to lose them as a friend…

They are some of them that can not be your friend. There are many reasons for this thing.

First of all is because in some way you like him..from the first time you met, you got a little crush on him..once you got crush on him, you’ll see him by different way deep in your heart..there are two possibility would happened if thus little crush become more
deeper…Firstly,It would be too heartbreaking if he just become your friend..but somehow you gave him up, then just become the first category but still deep in your heart he’s kind of special,,,secondly,which is never happened in my life at least till now, in some way you lost that crush and he become one of your buddies…

Second example is you can not be friend with them because you don’t like them or even hate them..There are some guys that I don’t like and I don’t want to be friend with,,,it can be because we are just not match each other,,too much difference such as way of thinking, life principle, or some basic things..

They are some of them that never gonna be your friend because you love him. Once you
love him,,,no matter what the feeling is still remained and he
never gonna be one of your friend,,you can pretend that you could
but somehow it’s just a lie that you’re forcing to be accepted by
yourself…

In my case, when I firstly know some guys, I categorized them..I draw a line,,in which part they can enter my heart..because It’s the weakest part of me and I only have one heart..which mentally can not be fixed or replaced easily..even medically heart transplantation and heart operation are possible,but still can not be performed easily, can they?

So, enough for these random thought,,need to finish my doctoral colloquium materials and go home…

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