Comfy Procrastination and Distraction
I know once again instead of writing new post at my blog, I should start writing my thesis…I am waiting for my powders to be mixed now. My mind has been filled with many things lately and honestly, I am tired of thinking about them. I need to let them to be out somehow and yes…writing is one of the way,,,
I have been avoiding two topics now.
First is my current thesis and research status…Yes, just start to think or talk about it already make me be in so much pressure and distress. Only by the grace of my God I could have been graduated this year. I am so screwed,,,I do not think I can make it,,,graduate this year…but somehow I should make it…aaaaah, it’s so depressing. Plus, now I am already in “super saturated” condition. My previous adviser was right when he told me “finish it before you got bored” I can imagine how “super saturated” I am going to be next 3 years with all this titanium alloys. Once again, yes! only by His grace alone I can pass through…aaaaargh…I am so screwed
Second is my current status. Yes! what is so wrong for being single at my age?? I am enjoying myself now. People keep asking me about this topic till I feel whether something wrong with me. I feel like I am wrong to be happy for being single. Last time I was having my lunch and someone said “It was really a great time when I was single, had a job, and got no one to take care except my own self, but when I think about it again,,,what was that about? there was not fruits produced those time. Now, (when she starts a family) the fruits is visible.” Hmmmmmm…well she might be right. It just I do not find any reason yet to be in that fully complicated and tiring thing. My research has been complicated enough. Every time my lab mates ask me “Do you have a boyfriend?” I will say “No” out loud and the they ask “Why?” and I will just directly answer “Because I do not need any.” I must admit sometimes it feels lonely and sometimes I envy my friends who can rely on his/her couples. But, all the conflicts inside the relationship is not worth the time and energy to be wasted. You can use it for other more useful things. Spending your time with your best friends and family,,,travelling,,,caring others,,,self developing,,,many things…so, instead feel bother with all the question about my status, I will just avoid it.
Lately, so many distraction happened..and this stupid me so consumed with those distraction. Why? because it was so comfortable,,,yes, it was indeed so comfy distraction. The pressure I got and the desperation did really make me comfortable to be distracted….and after the distraction came procrastination. Rather than doing things I should have done, I did other things in the reason of getting new change, getting renew and refresh mind. Well…doing new and different things might help but that time was too much….hahahahahaha….last week I did not do anything but a failure in my research and that was not good at all for my upcoming thesis.
Okay! No more procrastination and distraction,,,let’s save some money too for your travelling fee, yorina!