About The Second Question
I just re-read a book. The title is “Lady in Waiting”. One of my cousins gave it as my either 20 or 21 birthday present. This book simply explain about Ruth in the Book of Ruth. One of non-Jewish woman (Moabites) who was mentioned at Jesus’s ancestors record. (anyway there was only two women mentioned, and both of them were not Jewish)
In the last chapter of the book, the author wrote a woman’s Bible Study about ‘Why do I want to get married?’ So, I ask my self again Why do I want to get married? I got some reasons similar to her, but then she also wrote How can God meet those needs in my life? then I agree with her. God can fulfilled I want towards marriage, so I found no reason to be married. Here are the list
Why do I want to get married? – How can God meet my needs?
- I want to be loved – “..I have loved you with an everlasting love..” (Jer. 31:3)
- I want someone to adore me The King has brought me into his chambers to adore me. My lover is outstanding among 10.000 (see Song 1:4 ; 5:10)
- I want someone to hold my hand – “…I will uphold you with My righteous right hand” (Is. 41:10)
- I want to be accepted and valued – I am accepted in the Beloved. (see Eph. 1:6 KJV)
- I want a “place,” a nesting place – We can rest in the shadow of the Almighty (see Ps. 91:1)
- I want help in my days of trouble – “Call upon Me in the day of trouble; I shall rescue you…” (Ps. 50:15)
- I want to share my life – the joys and the struggles- with one person (intimacy) – God will share with me the treasure of darkness and hidden riches (see Is. 45:3)
- I want a champion of my causes – one who is willing to fight for me – “The Lord will fight for you…” (Ex.14:14)
- I want someone to meet my needs – God is meeting all my needs”(see Phil. 4:19)
- I want intimacy – The Lord is intimate with upright. (see Ps.140:13)
- I want someone to help me in my life – There is no one like God who rides the heavens to help you (see Deut. 33:26)
- I want to walk through life sustained and carried. I don’t want the whole load of life. – Even to my old age, God will sustain me, carry me and rescue me. (see Is. 46:4)
- I want a companion for this life – God invites us to humbly walk with Him. (see Mic. 6:8)
- I desire children – God gives us spiritual children like the numberless grain of sand if we invest in lives (see Is. 48:19)
(Lady in Waiting, Jackie Kendal and Debby Jones, expanded edition, 2002, page 146-147)
So, I found no reason to be married, because what I want from marriage was already fulfilled by God, even my desire to have children too. In the end the only reason I will be married is only because God asks me personally and wants me to be married, not because of my needs.
In the previous chapter there’s also a quotation that interests me
“…An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world – how she can please her husband” (1 Cor. 7:34, NIV)
This quotation seems in the contrary of God’s command in the book of Genesis. I was also confused when I read this quotation then I read the whole chapter of 1 Cor. 7. Still I can not understand till I read the NLT version. Yes indeed unmarried men/women are having advantage for their devotional life to the Lord, I should say they are having undivided devotional life because they do not have earthly responsibilities (ver. 32 – 35). The points are, firstly as verses 29 – 31 wrote we should not be possessed or be absorbed with things and secondly, do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distraction as possible.
“So the person who marries his fiancée does well, and the person who doesn’t marry does even better.” (1 Cor. 7: 38, NLT)