Just Some Story of Mine

Sanity and Insanity

Being a graduate student sometimes put you in the state where you find your self nothing but meaningless. All the research and work somehow is not applicable at all in reality. It is like working in the dream. People keep asking you what is the original thing in your research and what is the impact. Yes indeed it is the whole point to be graduate student, researching a novel and an original topic that can give impact to the ‘world’ – by world I mean science world. But sometimes when we talk about the impact to the whole world and the applicability in the real world, we can answer no more than either it might, it may, it should, or theoretically it should by the assumption bla bla bla bla….I can not be sure whether it can or not. Is it insane, to work in somehow meaningless way? Also remember the Ph in PhD stands for philosophy. As far as I know philosophy is defined as the basic knowledge, a basic principle, a rational investigation about things, nothing close to practical – slash reality. Plus, people around keep telling you that you are making insignificant improvement to the big picture. Graduate school is somehow just a waste of time.

Thus, you need to keep your self sane. Well doing thing that at some point could bring you to the fact that you are doing meaningless thing, indeed so stressful and insane. So, what keeps you sane? For me, it is simple. Ever since I start this graduate school, I did dream I will make a significant impact to the science world that bring change into society, I want to take part in the undertaking to create a better world but then I quit somehow. Not because I thought I dream too far. I just found another urgent thing I need to take care before the world. I did give up my dream. I just found out to be a great person you do not need to do a great thing – slash contribution, you just need to do every simple things greatly – slash in a great way. That way of thinking have been helping me to keep sane.
Other ways to keep sane is to be grateful in every situation. I saw a great quotation which my friend posted on his social network site.

” Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass. It is about learning to dance in the rain.”

No doubt, we should really learn the ability to be grateful in every situation we have. I think the capacity of one to be happy is equal to one’s capacity to accept and be grateful. To complain and argue against God about something we want and deserve is just meaningless work, yup that one is the meaningless one. As long as we are doing our best, He always gives us the best too. It just sometimes, the best thing is not just something we want, we always want more. I am not saying to only wait and see what He will do for us. Read again my previous sentence, “As long as we are doing our best…” It is 100% of our talent, ability and work, but also 100% of His ability, work and grace through our life.

Another thing is keep doing things what you like. When I feel bored, I change my room arrangement. I go swimming. I go to the movie. I watch many drama and serial. I read some books which I found amusing. I go for travelling, visit the place I want. I have ‘me time’. I call a friend to have either lunch or dinner together. I write. I spend some of my time doing nothing. I shop a bit. I edit my photos collection. I make lousy scrap books for myself. I talk some non sense to some friends. I play, yes play a lot. Hahahahaha…

Yup. I am not a true scientist. Sometimes I enjoy my research but often times I got bored. I just happy to be able learn something in this graduate school. I do not like study, I just enjoy it some time and I am grateful of that.

“One’s life should matter.” – Margaret Hilda Thatchert

and there is a lot of ways to make it matter. Just find what is your way. I think this is the best way to keep you sane.


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