My Little Brother (and Sister)
Today when I was soldering the strain gage from my specimen and the equipments I used, suddenly a thought about my lil brother came. I remember he used to use the solder to fix his broken toy, some robot to be precise. He used to have hundreds toys during his child time, most of them are robot. I used to be angry whenever he and my parents back from somewhere and he brought another new robot that sometimes can not count as cheap one. It was not because I was jealous – okay might be a lil bit jealous, but because he already had many of them and most of them were broken by him. I used to say “he already had many and all of them broken because he broke them, why you keep buying new one for him” to my parents. As he grew older, finally my mother stopped buying him new toy. So, sometimes I saw him trying to fix them using some equipments including solder. When I caught him using the solder to fix his robot, I always said “what were you doing?” He used to remain silent then I sometimes I gave him some negative comment about how he should not broke his toy in the first place and maintain them very well or it could not be fix in that way, instead of helping him to fix them. I am such a bad sister, I should have helped him those times. I am very a disappointing sister indeed.
When I saw him using the soldier, fixing his robot, I realized ‘aaaaaah…this what a brother did’. I have a lil sister whose age is only 3 years younger than me. That time I realized ‘aaaaaaah….this is how a brother play and this is how a brother act’. That time, I did not have any idea how to use a solder, but looked at him using it made me know how. For around 8 years, it was only me and my lil sister, and I never felt how having a brother is different from having a sister. I used to play (and fought a lot) with my sister. We watched the same cartoon program. We had similar dress. We ‘mutilated’ our Barbie together. We shared our toy and sometimes our clothes too. We have a lot more similarity than me and my lil brother have.
My lil brother age is 8 years apart from me. By the time he entered the school, I was already in the junior high school and by the time he was in the second grade of elementary school I was already at high school, too busy with my teenage and my teenager friends. I do not think I spent much time with him back then. By the time he entered the teen’s age, I was already at my last year at the university. Still I was too busy with my things, my friends and my self, not many time I spent with my brother together either at home or outside. I regret all of them. I should have spent more time together with him. Huufff….I miss him.
I remember how funny he was when he tried to cook some dishes by himself and how cute he was when he was still a baby. I love him so much. I wish I could have spent more time together with him and show my love more to him.
Writing this make remember my sister too, we used to fight a lot too. We are just 3 years apart, sometimes I think my parents expect her to be like me too and she is trying so hard to be not even like me. I must admit there was time I want her to be like me, that was my fault to expect her to be like me or better than me. I just want her to be happy, just because I am happy, I thought she will be happy too if she follows my path. I understand now somehow, everybody has their own path to be happy. I should have encouraged her back then when she wanted to choose language as her major instead of science. I know that she enjoys learning language much and she learns foreign languages really well.
I wish I could have a better sister for them. I love them much. I wish and pray they will be happy, happier than me. I wish I have enough courage to tell them and show them how I love them and how I am regretting my bad attitude back then.