Love and Fear
These few days I have been struggling for one matter. Heart. I have been dealing with my own heart. What I knew was my feeling was wrong and I was supposed not to feel that way. I kept convicing myself that I needed to get rid this as soon as possible before another unnecessary broken-heart happened. I have been praying to God and asking Him to take care of this,to take away the feeling. I asked Him to calm my heart to the state it suppose to be,,,
Today,I got myself crying like a little girl during my devotional time. Today, God teach me one thing that I am so awful to Him, that the only reason I pray these few days is only for my good, because I am scared of being hurt. I am afraid what people can do to me. Fear of being hurt. And the only reason why I am so scared is because I do not truly love people. I may treat them good. I may help them or being nice to them but I never really love them as God loves me. His love is never being reflected to others through me. I’m just afraid what people think of me and say to me. Today, He told me how awful I am.
There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother.
(1 John 4:18-21 ESV)
Sidewalkprophets – The Words I Would Say
And in the end I just found myself bever truly trust Him…never truly trust my heart to Him…