Just Some Story of Mine

One More (Secret) Decision

Well since I share it here, it’s not a secret anymore.

Since last year I have been dealing with something called ‘loving’ or ‘to love’. Wait,it’s not like what you think…hmm…well…maybe some part of it….So, since last year I have been dealing (struggling) with one matter, one question in fact “Do I really love people?” “Do I act in kind manner truly from my heart? Are all of my kind gesture the reflection of my love of people, not because I know that being kind is the right thing to do?” These question are constantly appeared in my mind.
Actually, something happened before that suddenly those question appear. Firstly, I found that I am very scared to love. Because it is truly, to love is to open an opportunity to be hurt. Then, I asked my self, well…not really asked myself, I think God reveal to me, why am I scared? and He also revealed the answer to me. It is all because I do not really love them. I am scared to be hurt, everyone is. And above all, why are we hurt? because we expect something and when we expect something, can we really say we love others? Well…at least, I, myself, I can’t.

When Jesus died in cross, The Almighty God who, referring to Paul the apostle, made Himself nothing, being born in the likeness of men, did He ever expect something from us? Nope! That’s what we call love.

Then, my (secret) decision is to learn to love people, the way my God do. No expectation. No fear of being hurt. Embrace and concentrate to every single things what make happy. Joyful and grateful for every circumstances. Beside, who am I to not love people whom my God loves with all His Might? Just merely sinner, like others. At the end, let all be the will of God.

Now, I think I will be fine to be that person’s ‘sister’. Well….I might just saying this because I am happy now, but I think I will be just okay with that.

Since I am in mood now…
I will share two songs here,,,

TobyMac – Favourite Song

and Matthew West – Forgiveness



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